Rabbi's Derasha

This is the Parasha with more Mitzvot than any other.  Of all of them, what is the Mitzva with special resonance at this time of year?  I would say, Nedarim, vows.  Yom Kippur will begin with Kol Nidre, nullifying vows.  Why is that such a focus as the Chag begins?

The taking of a vow is the exercise of great power.  A person can make something forbidden at the level of a Torah prohibition.  Usually we would say that only Hashem can do that.  People do it because they want to surround the act with the gravitas of commitment.  Or to impress with one’s seriousness.  Sometimes, people make promises because it’s part of bargaining with Hashem.  They want something very badly so they promise Hashem some act in return.  

I knew an architect in this area.  He built the Beth Am in Los Altos Hills. The story behind that was that he really really wanted that job.  It was still early in his career and the project offered a great canvas for his creativity.  He decided to do something that he had not done before: he prayed.  He told Hashem that if he would get this job, he would allow one of his children to become a rabbi.  Well, he got the job.

And then about 15 or 16 years later, he got a call from one of his sons, calling from Yerushalayim.  His son had graduated from college and then worked a little.  Then he took a trip around the world and he ended up in Yerushalayim.  He met a few people there and saw how serious the classes were.  He then called his parents and said that he wanted to stay there rather than go to Stanford Business School.  That call did not go well.  His parents were not happy.  He did go to Stanford after all, and the story ends well for everyone, but at that time there was great consternation.  His father, the architect, got off the phone quite upset.  But when he settled down, he thought back to that conversation he had with Hashem.  “The good Lord’s coming to take His,” he said to himself.  You must be careful when you vow.   

And indeed what we read this morning discourages the taking of vows.  The standard way to understand this is that the Torah fears that one will delay in fulfilling a vow, which is already a problem.  It also fears that one will not fulfill it at all, which is even more of a problem.  In the end, discretion is the better part of valor and the Torah says that someone who refrains from vowing will not have sin.  R’ Meir in the Gemora hears in this not just a warning about vowing and not fulfilling.  That is obvious.  He says it’s better not to vow than to vow even if you do fulfill it.  Most would think this is just caution but I can tell you two other reasons R’ Meir would rule vows out.

The first reason is that a vow is a verbal commitment to do something or not to do something.  R’ Meir is telling you that it’s better to just do something.  We have lot of words, we’re surrounded by lots of words.  But the Torah wants action on the Mitzvot, not just words.  This is why we say Kol Nidre at the beginning of Yom Kippur.  It’s about action, not words.  One doesn’t want that holy day to be only about the words of Vidui.  It should be followed up with action.  

There’s another reason to eliminate vows altogether.  Any act that comes to fulfill a vow really flows from that vow.  You can’t tell if it’s authentic.  When we set up a Gett, we have a procedure.  We ask if the man is doing the Gett of his own free will.  He says, yes.  And then we have them do Hatarat Nedarim, a statement to free him of any vows.  We have him say that if he took a vow to divorce or not to divorce, I regret it and I ask you to free me of it.  Then we ask him again, do you still want to give the Gett.  This is because we want it to be the result of unadulterated free will.  We don’t want it to flow from a promise but from pure Ratzon, pure will.  

This is another reason to get rid of vows.  The choices of Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur should not be because of anything but our will.  It should not be because of social pressures, or promises, or anything external.  Hashem wants our will, pure and simple.  For these days, the focus should be on aligning our will with Hashem’s.  That is what makes the day such an opportunity.